Celibacy

What is celibacy for a person who doesn't belong to any church, association or group of any kind? What is the reason, the purpose in abstaining from romantic relationships?

Since I was in my middle teens, I felt very strongly that the sexually loose life of my friends and even my family was not for me. Yes, I felt the usual urges and still do, but that is only due to the then and current imperfect state of my spiritual practice. As spiritual practice strengthens, such concerns evaporate, and this I have experienced and continue to experience. I have always recognized and then subsequently proved in relationships, two things: One, that both women and men, in order to satisfy the desires of the flesh, will give up their very soul, their principles, their integrity, and their friends. People who consider themselves to be moral, honest, and upstanding, will find themselves violating every principle that they hold important in order to secure physical satisfaction, and in so doing, both harm their physical bodies, and harm their souls. And Two: That the loose sexual life is tremendously harmful to the happiness of all beings, not just the individual who is so engaged.

The harm to the soul is obvious enough. Greed as applied to objects -- cars, houses, clothing, etc -- and greed as applied to people ("I want Her/Him") function in the same way. They are connected, in every way, to the "I" thought, to the wish for bodily pleasure and to stave off bodily displeasure. The use of other people for ones own gain is a form of love which is false and lacking in integrity. The person of integrity doesn't need to gain from another person, has no requirements of other people, but has a simple relationship with people born out of giving, not taking. By acting as if one is in a giving relationship, all the while wanting to receive from that relationship, one is in a position of self-deceit and deceit of the other. Above all, be honest with yourself. Do you want involvement with someone for your own gain, or to benefit them?

On to the harm of the body. I can't speak for women, but I can tell the story of male friends that I know. A friend of mine, long-time spiritual practitioner many years my senior, some years ago made the acquaintance of a lovely and intelligent female. I noticed this friend somehow becoming quite dull-minded, and losing the intellectual edge that he used to have, as well as becoming forgetful. I found this to be quite disappointing, but began to recognize this as a common feature of men who become involved in engrossing sexual relationships. The men rapidly become soft in spirit, less focused in mental power, quick to anger, and without powerful intent. I feel that this is due to two factors. The first factor is that the body's urge is satisfied, and this sense of satisfaction substitutes for spiritual satisfaction, and thereby the sun of genuine satisfaction gets eclipsed by the moon of temporary pleasure.

The second factor is borne out from the study of Jewish, Yogic, and Chinese Buddhist & Taoist texts on the values of chastity, and the power of the male sperm as it relates to the physical and mental powers of the body. The Indian Yogis go so far as to claim that there is no spiritual progress without chastity. The Chinese also think similarly about the essential power of semen in the body of the male.

For these reasons and others, I have chosen a life of celibacy, a life where I can work to be loving to people without requirement for gratification, to be simple regarding other of God's creations, to overcome the dictates of the body, indeed, to drop off the body and mind, and live in God's birthless and deathless domain.

This type of life is certainly not for everyone, but it is important that there are men who uphold this principle. For those that are in this same path, I invite you to contact me in brotherhood to strengthen ourselves together in God.